Homestay

I've always heard that when you go abroad doing a homestay is essential. I never really agreed with that statement, but after our three days staying with Thobeka and Sinazo I've decided that it's a must.

Thobeka is 55 years old, the mother of 2 sons and the primary caregiver for her 11 year old granddaughter, Sinazo. It's just the two of them in the house, and we never really got the full story on why Sinazo's father is in PE (a city about 12 hours away) without her. There seems to be a lot of history, and a lot of pain, in Thobeka's past.

Below is Thobeka's house from the street. The house consists of a living area, two bedrooms, a bathroom (?) and a small kitchen. It's modest, but functional.
Below is the view from where Maryam is standing, so Thobeka's neighborhood. This is a fairly typical neighborhood in Gugulethu. Look at it closely. A little different from home, huh?

Here is the bedroom where Maryam and I slept. Again, it's simple- and probably by American standards not very nice. But we were very comfortable, and slept great :) On the right where the cement starts was our bathroom. There was a bathtub (no shower), a sink and a toilet. However, there is no hot running water in the house. So, I had another new experience: I learned how to take a bucket shower.
You're probably wondering what a bucket shower is, and for those of you who know me well, you're going to be impressed that I did it. We heated up a pot of water on the stove which you then bring with you to the bathtub. You stand in the tub and then use a small bowl to pour the water on yourself. It was a good experience, to say the least. A good way to appreciate not only what you have, but also to show yourself that you really can do with less. That seemed to be a big take-away for me this week: be grateful for what you have, and recognize that to live simply is not to live with less value. It's so easy to forget that sometimes.

I wish I could explain my feelings about staying with Thobeka. I value our after dinner chats over a glass of Riboos tea, her favorite. Thobeka wasn't always easy to talk to. She was a little more reserved, older than most of the other host moms, and she was private about her life. After our first night, I felt a little bit down. Thobeka was so hospitable, yet she wasn't bonding with us like the other momma's and their students. But Maryam brough up a good point- there is a generational difference. For Gugs and the situation, Thobeka is older. Her entire life has been spent looking after others. She quit school at 16 to take care of her younger sisters when her parents died. She supports her sisters kids (I believe there's 5), and has Sinazo in her home. She works 5 days a week at a doctor's office. She doesn't have a car, and she does all of the washing outside by hand because there's no hot water in the house. Thobeka is tired. And she has every right to be.

Now I feel like I was put with Thobeka for a reason. I am not by any means de-valuing anyone else's time with their families, but I feel like some people had it very easy. They had bubbly, talkative, gregarious families. Most of them had nicer homes, and more people to learn from. But in my situation, it was challenge. It wasn't easy at all. It was hard emotionally and I really had to push myself. I had (and have) a lot to think about, and honestly at the time I was upset. But I came to South Africa to be challenged, and to challenge who I am. So, thank you universe, for not letting me just take it easy.
I also need to mention Sinazo. Sinazo was me and Maryam's pride and joy this week. At first she was shy, and I was a little worried that we wouldn't bond with her. And of course, I was wrong again. Sinazo was so fun to hang out with. She tried to teach us how to speak Xhosa, but of course we aren't very good at the clicks. She liked to tease us when we asked her stupid questions, like where her school was (just up the road, duh), and what her favorite show was (Generations, of course). She would wake us up in the morning, and take care of us at bedtime.
I miss Sinazo's sassiness, her excitement, and her hugs. I like to think that she'll miss us too.

There's so much to say about living in Gugulethu and I haven't even scratched the surface. It's an experience that's near impossible to explain, even to myself. But I know that I'm coming away a better, stronger, and more appreciative person because of it. I'm thankful for what I have, yet also disgusted at some of the things that I've done, said, or wanted in the past. Right now I'm wrestling with a lot of these emotions, and it's going to take a while to sort out. But again, I'm so very thankful that I'm even having the opportunity to question myself in this way. It truly makes me a better person. More on townships, thoughts, and feelings in the days to come.

On a lighter note- tomorrow and Tuesday are going to be some interesting days. You'll have to wait to find out, but I think some of you will be surprised :)